Help Wanted

Due to the recent trend of a certain family getting sick/injured, a bodyguard is needed to protect brunette teenager from harm until Seussical is over.
Applicant must be:
- male
- God-fearing
- quite good-looking
- a perfect gentleman

Musical talent and good taste in books/music preferred. Wages will consist of one ticket to every performance of Fine Linen Drama's Seussical.

If brunette teenager should become injured/ill in any way while under bodyguard's protection, serious disciplinary action will be taken against them. You have been warned.

Apply in person to Laura Cook or Jenna Light as soon as possible. Thank you!!

This is a joke ;)