When the ladies book club group was reading Pride and Prejudice last, one of our assignments was to write a letter of response to Mr. Darcy's proposal. I found the letter that I wrote today, and seeing as we are all in a Pride and Prejudice mood, I thought it would be appropriate to post it.
Dear Mr. Darcy,
First, I would like to thank you in regards of your thoughtfulness towards me in asking for my hand. I don't forgive you, however, when it comes to your insulting my family, and I will not accept your proposals...yet. I feel that needed to be said, even though I told you "no" last night. So far, the count is yes - 0, no - 2. You're losing.
But please, hear me out. I will give you one "yes" point because you are very handsome and another point because you are a good dancer. So the tally is yes - 2, no -2. Because you are so handsome, I am willing to give you another chance to win my affection. One, apologize to my family for the way you insulted them behind their backs. Two, spend a day waiting on my mother hand and foot, Mrs. Bennet, and listening to everything she says. Next, pay for an extravagant wedding Mr. Bingley and my beloved sister, Jane. Fourth, send Lydia to boarding school in Switzerland so she won't get into any trouble with the militia. Also pay for Mary to have some voice lessons. You must also buy several nice dresses for Kitty, the silly thing that she is. Although I don't consider it a requirement, sending Caroline Bingley to boarding school wouldn't be a bad idea either.
If you do all of those things, then I will add another point to the "yes" tallies and the outcome will be in your favor. I will marry you.
Thanks for your time.