shopping problems

I believe that I have stated this before, but I am going to restate it now:

I am not a very good shopper.

I don't know why, but I am just awkward and weird in stores.

Well, this morning my mother sent me into town with money, a coupon and an order to pick up some dog food at Walmart after picking up Matthew from preschool. I picked up Matthew and the girls (they are helpers at preschool) and we headed to Walmart. I carried in my hand my keys, my phone, the coupon and the $20 bill. Because the girls and Matthew were staying in the car, I headed quickly to the back of the store.

The mistake: not getting a shopping cart.

I get to the back of the store and call Mom to ask what size bag she wants. The biggest bag? Awesome. Great. No problem

Before I pulled the bag off the shelf, I made the second mistake: not checking the price.

You would think that, out of habit, I would check the price of the item I'm planning to purchase.

Well, for some reason, I forgot to check this time.

I hoist the bag (it feels like it weighs about 80 lbs....actually about 45) over my shoulder and walk as quickly as I can to checkout. The bag is slowly sliding out of my grasp as I do this.

I drop the bag with a resounding thud on the ground in front of the checkout lady. She scans the bar code and the price rings up on the screen....$20.97.

Great, I think to myself, I don't have enough mo....Wait! The coupon is for $1.50 off!! It's all good.

I hand the lady my coupon. She scans it.

Mistake number three: I didn't take sales tax into account.

"Twenty-one sixty seven," the lady says cheerfully...."no, wait," she looks at the coupon, "This coupon expired on the 12th." She takes off the discount. I'm three dollars short.

Mistake: not taking wallet in.

I apologize profusely, run to my car (in skirt/flats/glasses/semi-crazy hair that was flying around in the breeze), and grab my wallet, grumbling to myself about not thinking ahead and how I hate shopping.

Mistake (well, sort of): not grabbing a cart on the way back into the store..

I pay for my dog food. I thank the nice lady who probably thinks I'm an idiot (perhaps I am!). I hoist the bag of dog food over my shoulder and strut towards the door.

I can only "strut" about twenty feet, then the bag starts to slide down my shoulder and I have to do the awkward quick walk/jog thing in an attempt to get to my car before the bag becomes too much for me to handle and I have to set it down like a sissy.

Mistake: Not having handsome, strong boyfriend to carry heavy stuff for me.

Haha. That's a joke.

All that's to say, if you're ever shopping with me, be prepared for awkwardness.

And remind me to take my wallet :/